You hear it said in hushed conversation, fleeting between petticoats...
You see it typed over and over on anonymous imageboards...
You see people apologize for being one...
But what really is “ita”?
The TL;DR- Ita is short for 痛い itai which is a Japanese word used as an adjective meaning "painful" or as an interjection equivalent to "ouch". When you see a terrible lolita coord (or attempt at wearing lolita), you can use “ita” to say that it hurts you in your kokoro (heart).
The legendary F Yeah Lolita blog has a wonderful article on “
How To Avoid Being An Ita” however it is over 10 years old and some of the concepts need updating. I do recommend reading it before continuing this article if you aren’t familiar with it!
The difference between a beginner lolita and ita
As someone who mentors newbie lolitas and sees how scared they are of being called “ita”, I need to start this article by saying that just being a beginner doesn’t make you an ita!
Even the most “perfect” lolitas like Misako started out at some point and they weren’t amazing from the start. Lolita fashion, like any hobby, has quite a learning curve and your first few coords most likely won’t be amazing. It takes time to learn how to create a nicely balanced coord, what styles you enjoy and what suits you. Even if you begin your foray into lolita fashion with a scratchy Amazon dress, cat ears and neon pink Demonia knockoffs, you can still improve and create amazing coords later on in your journey.
So what makes an ita “ita”?
Something we need to differentiate as a community is an ita outfit and an ita personality.
An ita outfit is, of course, only talking about the clothes themselves. They could be terrible quality, have a weird print that isn’t well executed, awkward fit or all of the above. Even Japanese burandos fail sometimes and create a dress that hurts to look at:
(Sorry if you personally love these dresses!)
An ita outfit can also be an experimental coord that didn’t quite hit the mark. Lolita fashion isn’t nuclear science- experimenting and failing will not be the end of the world or mean that no one should experiment ever. As a creative fashion, lolita has its own trends and grows with the community- if we didn’t experiment, then lolita fashion would still look the same as it did in the 80s and 90s. The fact that it doesn’t look the same as it used to is proof that experimenting isn’t “against the rules” in the slightest!
On the other side of the spectrum, an ita personality is a person that acts in a way that is “ita” and hurts to see. An ita person will usually insist on the opposite of what experienced lolitas recommend just to be contrary and be “Not Like Other Lolitas”.
They will approve of replicas for selfish reasons (even after knowing all the points explained here:
The Big Frocking Replica Debate Explained), be convinced that the lolita community is full of gatekeeping meanies who just want to stifle their free artistic spirit with their “rules” and in most cases haven’t really interacted with the community other than in online spaces.
As annoying as a person with an ita personality can be to other lolitas, they can also improve with time! After being at a real meet and meeting other lolitas offline, most people will calm down a bit on their “ita”ness and realize that the lolita community isn’t against them- actual concrit is given not as an attack, but as a way of caring and helping the others.
Experimenting with lolita fashion
A lot of people with an ita personality will claim that lolitas call anything that goes against the “rules” ita, that experimenting is “not allowed” in the fashion and anyone who dares to step out of the “cookie cutter” box lolita coords will be called ita, shunned from the community, shame their ancestors and be cursed for 5 generations.
As I mentioned above this simply isn’t true.
The lolita “rules” are more like guidelines or a recipe to make sure your cake doesn’t turn into a cookie. When you start out baking, you follow recipes to a T to make sure they turn out well. Once you’ve tried several recipes, have more confidence in your baking skills and understanding of what you’re doing and why, then you can start experimenting and substituting ingredients while still ending up with a delicious cake. The same is true for lolita fashion- once you have the basics down, you can break the “rules” and still have a beautiful coord. As a famous artist once said: “Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.”
Is [X] always ita?
The short answer is- NO. Items or design concepts as themselves are not usually ita (unless it’s a replica or otherwise generally offensive. Even the dresses shown above can be styled in a nice way even if the author is not a fan of them.) Items and concepts depend a lot on the way a person chooses to style them. Even items which used to be considered “ita staples” such as fishnet tights, mini hats, no makeup/ exaggerated makeup, animal ears, black and white coords and raschel "lace monsters” can still be styled well by someone with experience.
For example: in this coord above, we see Misako wearing the infamous punk lolita style, with fishnets, a mini hat, low poof and no sleeves while still looking great.
Milk Tea (Who took at least 2 years to get out of their own ita phase.)
