How to Host a Lolita Meetup

 

(Image from @salonwonderteatime)

One thing we sometimes forget about lolita fashion is that it’s not only a fashion (though that is the main aspect) but there’s also a community behind it!  Lolita meetups are a great way to find inspiration for your own coords, talk about a hobby you enjoy with likeminded people and sometimes make good friends even out of the fashion. :)  At the moment, it is still not necessarily safe to have meetups in person yet, but here is a guide for hosting your own meetup once it is safe again.  

First, here are some things to consider before hosting a meetup:

    1.) Is there a certain person in charge of meetups in your community? Or can anyone plan and host a meetup?

    2.) Do you have the time and mental strength to host a meetup? If you feel like you aren’t up the challenge yourself, you can always ask more experienced lolitas for help co hosting! 

    3.) What are your meetup goals? Do you have a certain activity you would like to do such as seeing a certain movie or going to an event together?

The next step is actually planning the meetup!

See if there is any interest in a meetup at all.

Before putting in all the effort of hosting a meetup, see if anyone is actually interested in one. Meetups can be fun at any size but it’s always good to know how many people will be joining you. 

How can you see if there’s any interest? Simply ask on your community page! Something along the lines of “Hey, there’s this cool movie/event coming up soon. Would anyone like to go together?”

Remember that it’s easy to mark yourself as “Going” on a Facebook event and then forgetting about it, so don’t be shy about posting reminders about the event and even sending people a message to make sure that they plan on coming after they mark themselves as attending.

Set a date and a venue.

Now that you have some people interested in a meetup, it’s time to decide on a date and venue! If the event isn’t time sensitive, you have a lot of wiggle room in deciding when and where your meetup will be.

I advise on starting a poll with some date options and venue options about a month before when you want to hold the meetup, or even longer in advance if the meetup is planned around a popular event/holiday such as Halloween or a convention.

Make sure to choose dates that you yourself can attend, since after all, you want to be able to enjoy your own meetup, right?

(Image from @salonwonderteatime)

Always be sure to research the venue and see if a downpayment is required or if you will need to book tickets in advance. If the venue has an age requirement (such as 18+ or 21+) make sure that your guests meet those requirements! 

If the venue serves food, make sure that people with any special dietary requirements (such as allergies, vegan or religious diets) also have something they can enjoy. I recommend posting the venues menu and price range so people can prepare in advance.

I recommend scouting the venue area to find a suitable meeting place and taking note of landmarks so you can direct people to the meetup. If possible, add pictures of the area or a short video of how to arrive is always helpful.

When hosting a meetup outside, it is important to make sure that there are basic amenities such as shade, a place to sit and water fountains, or to ask whoever is attending to bring a blanket and bottle of water with them. Also make sure that you are prepared for any mishap that might happen, such as an umbrella if it may rain. Extra water and bandages are also a good idea to have on hand.

If your meetup is being hosted indoors, such as at a restaurant, make sure that the venue is aware that you will be arriving in a group and may need more space because it is a fashion meetup. If you feel uncomfortable, you do not need to mention which fashion outright. Saying 'vintage fashion' should give most places enough information to suit your needs. 

Another thing to always keep in mind is transportation! Remember that public transportation may be crowded or not available during certain dates and hours. Make sure to remind people to arrange transportation to and from your meetup so no one is stuck behind.

Set some meetup rules.

Rules are important to make sure that everyone can enjoy the meetup safely. Here are some basic rules I usually use, so feel free to use them yourself and add any additional rules that you feel are necessary!

1.Please wear lolita fashion (Or adjacent fashion such as ouji) to the meetup!

Not sure what you want to wear is considered lolita / ouji? Post your questions here or in the main community page and we will be happy to help.

This rule is important because unless you are hosting a meetup for newbies, you want actual lolitas at your meetups and not just curious onlookers who aren’t part of the fashion.

2. Please do not share the event outside of the community page.

This rule is another way to prevent people who don’t wear lolita from crashing your meetups.

3. Please address people politely using their pronouns. If you are not sure in which pronoun to use, please ask in a respectful manner, and from those who are asked, please also answer in a respectful manner.  Please remember that we all respect each other and if there is a mistake in speech it will not be something personal against someone.

Anyone of any gender can wear lolita and it is important to always be respectful of other people.

4. Please do not touch people or their clothes without permission! And do not harass them if they do not agree.

Lolita clothes can be expensive, and even if they weren’t, it is completely within your right to tell people not to touch you or your belongings.

5. Regarding photos - of course there is no obligation to be a part of the group photos and you can ask to not be photographed.

However, it is important to remind people that if they are in a public place, there is a high probability that people will take their pictures without asking. Unfortunately, it is not possible to always prevent this but it is your full right to comment to anyone who does so!

If only we could pixelate our faces IRL...

6. Be nice to other people, not just group members 🙂

Lolitas often get approached by people asking about our clothes, especially when there is a group of lolitas, since it looks pretty unusual to casual onlookers! So remember to be nice to curious people as long as they are respectful to you (You are more than welcome to ignore anyone being offensive of course!).

7. For events that require pre-registration, please notify the event host at least X days in advance if you cannot attend the meetup.

Last minute cancellations and flakes can create problems in organizing group events. I recommend setting up a small meetup reservation fee to make sure that only people who are serious about attending will sign up for the meetup. I usually set the reservation fee at around $3. You can then use this fee towards paying a tip if the meet is being hosted in a restaurant, or buying a small gift for each attendee. If you set a reservation fee, make sure to clearly state how this fee will be used!

If the venue requires a deposit you can split the amount between the attendees. Make sure to also clearly state a final date for cancellation/refunds.

Now that you have a date, a venue and some rules, what should you do during the meetup itself?

Remember that you are the host of the meetup, so make sure that people arrive at the meetup location safely and answer any questions they may have about directions. 

If a new member is joining the community, help them socialize and introduce them to people so they don’t feel alienated (Not sure what to talk about? Here are some great icebreakers!).

If you are hosting a meetup outside, please remind people to help you clean up after the meetup so you can leave the area as you found it.

Don’t be disheartened if the meetup isn’t huge, or if things don’t go exactly as planned. Hosting a meetup takes practice and work, so be proud of your efforts and remember to have fun!

Here’s hoping that face to face meetups are back again soon!

-Milk Tea