Jumping Into the Frilly Life

One day you discover Lolita fashion. It could be through a random post on Tumblr, browsing through tags on Instagram or a friend who already wears the fashion. The important thing is that you have seen the lace and frills and you want them NOW.

You might think that going from zero to jumping into a pile of frills like Scrooge McDuck is your highest aspiration as a newbie lolita, but I’m here to suggest why it might be better to wait and chill a little before buying every piece of lolita clothing you set your eyes on.

Seriously, wouldn’t this just really hurt?

When I started wearing lolita fashion my only requirements for buying a main piece were:

• It fits
• It’s affordable
• It’s cute

I happened to have a very good paying job at the time with minimum life expenses, and also learnt to navigate the world of Taobao and secondhand sales from Japan at a very early stage so I bought many main pieces early on. I thought I would be happier with a bigger wardrobe but all I ended up with were more main pieces I didn’t wear, the hassle of having to sell them and most importantly- experience, which I will try passing on to you.

So while the points above are very important here are some more things you should consider when starting to wear lolita, and before buying each item:


Where will I wear this to?

If you’re just starting your journey into lolita fashion or if you already have a few main pieces- it’s important to decide how you are going to wear this new item. Is it casual and can be worn on a more day-to-day basis? Is it a full on OTT dress full of lace and ruffles that can only truly shine when worn to a big tea party, and do you plan on going to such events often enough to warrant buying that kind of piece now? You don’t have to be a daily wearer of the fashion but like with any piece of clothing there are different levels of formality and having the dresses you paid good money for just sit and gather dust can be pretty sad.


Is it a colour I feel comfortable wearing?

Of course nothing should stop a person who usually wears goth fashion from wearing pastel sweet lolita, but when buying the piece (especially if it is your first main piece) consider if you will be comfortable wearing it. Lolita is a fashion that attracts attention no matter which colour you wear, but having it be something familiar and comfortable really helps.

Additionally, this will also help you avoid buying dresses that don’t work well with your skin tone. It can be tempting to buy a dress in a colour you don’t wear, but if that colour doesn’t look good on you when you wear it in mainstream fashion, then the same colour on a lolita dress most likely won’t suit you either. Think of it like this- If you don’t like pancakes you probably won’t like waffles either because it’s the same batter in a different shape.

Though AP loves some pancakes

Do I really like the theme?

One of the great things about indie brands (including the indie brands on Taobao) is that sometimes they can take more of a risk then established brands with a set aesthetic that their fans expect from them. This means that you can find main pieces with more unusual themes such as animals other than cats/bunnies/bears/deers, food that isn’t sweets/fruits and even meme inspired dresses

Before excitedly buying the piece because it’s something you love, take a moment to look at it a bit closer; Is the print well executed or does it look like something quickly slapped together in clipart? Is the cut going to be flattering on you? And is it a theme you would be comfortable wearing outside?

If you want to wear a meme from 2013 for the lulz no one is stopping you, but will you really wear it?

Will I be able to coord this piece with items I already own?

It’s really depressing to work hard on saving money, waiting until the dress arrives and being unable to wear it because you have nothing to coord it with. You don’t have to have the perfect capsule wardrobe but I do recommend sticking to 2-3 colours in your main pieces and accessories along with a base colour that will suit them.

For example, if you are building a classic wardrobe you might want to have brown and navy as your main colours with off-white as your base colour. Lilac, pink and sax with a white base could work well for a sweet wardrobe and you can always choose to just stick with everything in one colour (such as having everything in black for a gothic wardrobe, though it is important to remember that black doesn’t automatically mean it’s suitable for gothic, there are other things to look at as well such as theme and cut.)

This doesn’t mean that you can’t have more than 2-3 colours in your wardrobe! Just take your time before chasing the rainbow 🌈

You might still experience FOMO from not getting that one popular dress at a great deal, or you may decide to completely change your style in the future but for now it’s best to just work on cultivating the lolita wardrobe that you will be able to enjoy to its fullest.

Thank you for reading my ramblings so far,

Milk Tea