No Comm, No Problem: How to Start Your Own Lolita Comm

While some lolitas are lucky enough to have access to a local pre-existing comm, some of us are not quite as blessed. However, just because there’s NOT an established comm doesn't mean there CAN’T be one. This also goes for reviving dead communities, as I know many lolitas go to search for their local comm only to discover it has been dead for years. 

Full disclaimer, I can’t promise that this will work for every community, but this is what has worked for mine.

Source: Saoirse Clohessy

Things to ask yourself

Is there an existing local comm?

If you’re not sure if there’s a comm in your area, check the directory. It’s also worth checking 

old livejournal masterlists to see if there’s a history of lolitas in your area. If you can find their social media it’s worth checking to see if they’re still there or if they’ve moved away.

If a comm already exists in your area, there’s no need to create a new one. I’ve seen many an offshoot comm formed by those displeased by their community’s pro-concrit and anti-repica stances and they’re always a disaster at best. Try hosting your own meets if you dislike the way others run theirs. 

If the comm exists and is dead, you can always try to revive it! If you notice any members that still participate in lolita, maybe try reaching out to them and seeing if they know of anyone else who might be interested in breathing some life back into the comm. 

Do you have the experience to run/form a comm?

If the answer is no, wait until you do. I’m not saying you have to have the best coordinates in the world, but as flight attendants say, “Put your mask on before helping others.” If you are just working on your first coord, wait until you have your feet underneath you. Remember that by forming this group, you’re taking on a role of responsibility and you want your comm members to respect you.

Source

Forming the Comm

Analyze your location.

Is there potential for a comm? 

I’ll be honest, not all cities and towns are created equally. The larger the city, the higher the probability of other lolitas.  The higher the population of a given area, the more likely it is to have lolitas. Large cities often serve as a gathering place for lolitas from smaller surrounding towns to congregate. Unfortunately, it’s highly unlikely that small towns will have the lolita population required to sustain a comm. 

Is there a college in town? 

According to this survey by Raine Dragon (See the results here) 32.7% of lolitas are aged 18-24 - the age that most people attend college. College students - while not known for their abundance of disposable income - make up a significant portion of the community. Chances are, if there’s a college near you, there’s probably a few lolitas there as well.

Meet new friends to join the comm.

Look for local conventions or nerd-based events

Even if there’s no J-fashion programming, simply dressing up screams “I AM HERE!” and you act as a beacon for other lolitas (or potential lolitas). By some sheer dumb luck, I managed to meet three lolitas at my first full convention. While this wasn’t the first time I’d ever attended this specific con, it was the first time I’d ever seen other lolitas in town. I got their contact information and we kept in touch to plan the first meetup.

Wear the fashion as much as you can. 

I’m serious. Wear it any time you can. Wear it to go to the grocery store, classes, out for lunch, etc. I’ve met several members of my comm just by running errands in my coords. The easiest way to recognize another lolita is when they’re wearing it. Usakumya phone charms are subtle but nothing screams “I’M A LOLITA” louder than…wearing lolita. Recently I found out an acquaintance (and hopefully future friend and comm member) of mine decided to enroll in our college BECAUSE SHE SAW ME WALKING AROUND IN LOLITA. You can’t make that up. 

Get involved with other lolita communities. 

Source

If you have other communities within travelling distance and the ability to travel, I cannot recommend this enough. Attend meets and make friends. Make it known where you’re from. Not everyone who attends meets is local to the comm they’re a part of. When I attend meets with my “big comms”, I travel anywhere from one to two hours just to make it to the meet. Ask your fellow frillies where they’re from! There’s a good chance at least one of them is from your area. 

You can also ask in online lolita communities! If you can’t attend meets, you can still post in local lolita facebook/discord groups. Before doing so, make sure to search to see if the question has been asked before. 

Source

You have found people to join your comm...now what?

Establish a consistent line of contact. 

For most comms this is a Facebook page. Create a group where you will consistently post updates about meets and submit it to the lolita comm masterlist once your comm is large enough to publish.  Once your comm has more people, consider creating a discord server.

Start hosting meets!

Once you’ve got another member or two, it’s time to start hosting meets. I actually recommend starting to host meets as soon as possible.  The longer you wait to host a meet, the harder it will be to get people to attend. Even if it’s just a few people, it’s best to get the ball rolling as soon as possible. The first meet I hosted with my local comm was attended by three other lolitas. We met at a semi-local garden shop with a cafe that served high tea. Local cafes, gardens, parks, boba tea shops, and other areas make fantastic spots for meetups. My town is particularly bare of lolita-suitable restaurants, so we usually just hang out in the local downtown area and see where that takes us. Use the first meet to brainstorm with the other members. Come up with an idea of things you’d all like to do together. Get other members involved and find things that sound exciting for everyone.

After the first meet, immediately plan another. You want to keep the momentum you’ve started. Since my comm is still small, I try to aim for monthly meets so that the members aren’t overwhelmed. I find that a meet a month is typical for many small to medium sized communities. You want to keep your members invested without feeling overburdened with constant meetups. As the founder of a comm, it will be your job to host the majority of the meetups for the foreseeable future. 

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Moving Forward

Now that you’ve got a comm, it’s time to work on retaining members. It’s important to foster a welcoming environment at meets so new members aren’t driven off due to cliques. While hanging out with your friends may seem harmless, it’s important to make sure everyone feels welcomed. 

Whenever a new lolita attends a meetup, make it a point to hang out with them for the day. 

Make sure they’re included in conversation and introduce them to the other members! While it’s true I would usually prefer to sit next to my best friend at the tea party, it’s more important newcomers feel included and welcomed at their first meet. If they have a good time they’ll probably be interested in future events.

Keep in contact! 

Out of all of the members in my comm, the ones I talk to the most outside of meets are the ones that are the most likely to attend meets. Reach out to members you haven’t seen in a while and invite them to upcoming meets. Sometimes it’s just nice to have someone WANT you to attend meets.

Be considerate of when and where you’re planning meets. 

Keep things like temperature, weather forecasts, dietary restrictions, and physical accommodations in mind when choosing locations for meets. Ask beforehand about things like food allergies, vegan/vegetarian options, wheelchair accessibility, and other important info. It’s better to prepare in advance than to scramble for a benadryl when someone eats something they shouldn’t have.

Brainstorm CONSTANTLY 

Modding a comm is a LOT of work. I personally keep a list of interesting places for meets so I have events ready to go whenever I need them.  Don’t be afraid to brainstorm with your comm. Ask your fellow lolitas for ideas. Your comm is a valuable resource - use it! What do people want to do and when? 

Be flexible

Not all comms have access to cute and trendy cafes or tea shops. Learn to make the best of whatever you’ve got locally! My comm often hangs out in the local downtown area and grabs drinks at a small hipster cafe. It’s best to be flexible and learn to work with what you’ve got. 

Hopefully these tips will have you a budding comm in no time! Don’t be discouraged by slow growth - it takes time for communities to establish themselves. I believe in you!

Stay Sweet!

~Sugar Cube

“Ero”? In MY lolita? It’s More Likely Than You Think!

The cover of GLB 02, featuring art by illustrator Mitsukazu Miharu

Of all of the different themes and substyles in lolita fashion, ero lolita is probably one of the most uncommon and misunderstood. This, in my opinion, is tied to two misconceptions about lolita and women’s fashion in general. The first is that lolita is an inherently modest or conservative fashion, which is an easy enough mistake to make, since that is often how lolita has been described in Western media, even by lolitas themselves. The second, more complicated misconception, is the idea that female sexuality and eroticism in fashion is always connected to attracting men and the male gaze -- two elements of modern society that the fashion has always shunned and avoided.

In this post, we’re going to deconstruct these notions by exploring the world of ero lolita and its relationship to lolita fashion more generally. We’ll be covering the nature of “ero” within the history and philosophy of lolita fashion, some common themes and inspirations behind ero lolita, as well as the basic dos and don’ts of a good ero coordinate. Let’s put on our garters and cage-skirts and get started!

What is “Ero Lolita”?

The “ero” in ero lolita is short for “erotic”. Thus, “ero lolita” is a style of lolita that is more mature and risque than other iterations of the fashion, which often incorporates elements of burlesque costumes, historical undergarments, and even fetish wear. In this sense, ero lolita draws strongly from the goth and punk roots of lolita fashion. Its focus is on showcasing female sexuality and in a way that is elegant and feminine, but can also be dark and sometimes even shocking.

Moon Kana in a photoshoot for Baby, the Stars Shine Bright in GLB 03

At first glance, this might seem antithetical to the nature of lolita, since the fashion is often described as using modest clothing to reject the impositions of sexuality and the male gaze. This description, however, is not entirely correct. For while lolita certainly does reject the patriarchal idea that women should be sexualised and pressured to dress for male approval, it isn’t exactly a modest fashion. The average lolita might show less skin than someone dressed in more mainstream women’s fashion, but voluminous skirts covered in ruffles, lace, and colourful prints are still a rebellious fashion statement. In fact, far from being demure or conservative, the whole point of lolita fashion is unabashed and unapologetic femininity. And while in some cases this means completely shunning motifs or design elements that might be seen as sexy or provocative; in the case of ero lolita, it means celebrating a kind of feminine eroticism that makes the wearer feel confident and beautiful.

This does not, of course, mean that ero lolita revolves around sex or being attractive to men. Like all of lolita fashion, ero lolita follows a philosophy of prioritising the wearer’s enjoyment and aesthetic sensibilities above all else. The most important aspect of ero lolita is not appealing to the male gaze, but highlighting the wearer’s sexuality in a manner that is ornate, beautiful, and, above all, enjoyable and empowering to the wearer themselves. 

"Milk" from Sakizo's Girl meets Sweets  (リュエルコミックス) artbook, released 2017.

I like to compare the styles and aesthetics of ero lolita to the work of prominent Japanese artist Sakizo, whose art has been a source of inspiration for lolitas of all styles and subgenres. Many of Sakizo’s works feature women in provocative costumes, often including items such as garters, stockings, short skirts, and high heeled shoes. The outfits in their art can easily be considered “erotic” or “sexy”.  However, attractiveness and sex appeal is clearly not the main point of these illustrations -- instead, it is Sakizo’s ornate designs and incredible attention details that draws the viewer’s eyes, as well as the artwork’s decadent, over-the-top sense of femininity. Ero lolita is similar in that it incorporates elements of eroticism or provocativeness not to be sexually inviting, but to express the wearer’s sense of aesthetics and taste. 

The Do’s and Don’ts of Ero Lolita

As a part of lolita fashion, a successful ero lolita outfit should follow the same basic tenets of any other kind of lolita coordinate. Materials should be of high quality, there should be a good balance of colours and motifs, a sense of femininity should be maintained, and, perhaps most importantly, the distinctive lolita silhouette must be visible. If you’re a complete beginner looking for a place to start, keep these simple “Do's and “Don’t”s in mind. They are far from definitive, but will provide a useful guideline for anyone interested in putting together an ero coord.

DO:

• Pick an aesthetic, colour palette, or substyle

An ero lolita photoshoot by Japanese brand Triple Fortune featured in GLB 37. Historically inspired, the model has been styled with ringlets, a corset, and an elaborate cage skirt, similar to the undergarments of the 18th and 19th centuries.

As with any other coordinate, it is important to have an idea of what kind of mood or image you want to portray when you start making an ero coordinate. Are you going for a dark and mysterious look, something bright and angelic, or a more historically inspired outfit? This can help you decide what kind of accessories, motifs, and materials you want to incorporate in your coord. For example, gothic ero coordinates tend to include darker colours and mature details, especially lace, roses, and fishnet stockings; while more youthful looks inspired by the Rococo period are more likely to include pastel colours, candy motifs, and bows. 

If you need ideas, there are a wide variety of sources that you can take inspiration from. Historical undergarments, ballet, burlesque performances, punk rock, and gothic romance have all influenced elements of ero in the past. Once you’ve settled on a look that you like, you can use it as the foundation for your coordinate. 

• Maintain the lolita silhouette

A lolita named Ameko photographed by Tokyo Fashion in 2014. Her corset and cage skirt help to create a defined silhouette, even though the underskirt is shorter than a lot of lolita skirts usually are. 

A voluminous silhouette with a wide skirt is one of the core elements of what makes a coordinate lolita, and ero lolita is no different. While the length of the skirt may be shorter and the hemlines more dramatic, it is important that the characteristic “poof” of the lolita silhouette still dominates the lower half of your outfit. This may be achieved with the traditional combination of a petticoat and an outer garment, or, for a more daring look, through the use of a crinoline or cage skirt. 

Cage skirts and crinolines harken back to 18th- and 19th-century women’s undergarments, and can be a great way to give your outfit a sense of historical flair. They maintain the shape and silhouette of a lolita coordinate, without providing as much of the usual coverage. Of course, this might make the bottom half of your outfit look quite plain, so many lolitas will add interest by layering over their cage skirts with corsets, belts, or overdresses, and might even decorate them with ribbons, lace, and flowers. 

• Be a little provocative

An ero coordinate from the instagram account of Japanese brand Atelier Pierrot. Note how the lace gloves have been used to add a layer of interest and elegance that really ties the whole outfit together.

It is ero lolita, after all. A lot of elements which might usually be considered too scandalous or inappropriate for lolita can work in an ero outfit, provided that they coordinated correctly. These include things like lower necklines, shorter skirts, corsets, garters, and stockings. And don’t underestimate the power that subtle changes and well-placed accessories can have in making your coordinate look a little more daring. Statement necklaces, for example, can help draw attention to the neck and decolletage; if you’re going for a sleeveless look, long gloves can help add interest to bare arms; while higher heels give a more mature and elegant edge to almost every outfit. As with any other lolita coordinate, no matter what you add, the most important thing is just to make sure that the different elements come together in a cohesive and well-balanced manner. 

DON'T:

• Show your actual underwear

The “Magician of the Stars” set by Souffle Song is sold as “ero lolita”, but even though the silhouette matches that of lolita fashion, the types of materials and incredibly revealing nature of the garment does not. You should not be able to mistake ero lolita for lingerie.

Even if ero lolita is more daring and provocative, it still meant to be worn in public. While you may incorporate historical or lolita-style undergarments in your coordinate, like corsets, bloomers, and crinolines; modern, mainstream underwear like thongs, panties, and bodysuits should stay under your outfit and not feature as a main part of it. At the end of the day, it’s meant to be a lolita coordinate, not lingerie. 

Also, don’t expose any parts of your body that might get you arrested for public indecency. Just… don’t. 

• Let it get too costume-y

No.

Ensuring that your clothes look like clothes and not simply a costume is a big part of lolita fashion, and that is especially important when it comes to ero lolita. While taking a bit of inspiration from things like uniforms or theatrical costuming is alright, be mindful that your coordinate is merely being inspired by these outfits, and not turning into a “sexy halloween costume”. This goes double for anyone who might be attempting to incorporate elements of cultural clothing into your ero coordinate -- the last thing you want to do is cause offense to people by turning important cultural touchstones into hypersexual costumes. 

For this reason, I would seriously advise that beginner lolitas (and even experienced lolitas who are not familiar with the ins and outs of ero) think twice before trying to make an ero lolita coordinate that is strongly based on either particular uniforms, characters, or cultural clothing. It’s always best to learn to walk before you run. 

• Force yourself to wear anything that you aren’t comfortable in

An outfit featuring a corset from the brand Abilletage. Corsets can be beautiful and elegant additions to a lolita coord, but it is important to wear them safely and responsibly.

Both physically and emotionally, you should be comfortable with your outfit. This means that you should never wear anything that you personally find too revealing, provocative, or sexual, and you should definitely not wear anything that physically restricts you or impedes your movement too much just for the “aesthetic”. If you’re planning on wearing things like corsets, waist-cinchers, or very high heels, do your research so that you know how to wear them safely. It’s also a good idea to bring a back-up outfit in case you need to change, especially if you know you’re going to be out of the house for a long period of time. 

Always remember: in lolita, the most important thing is that you feel happy and confident with yourself. You can’t achieve that if you’re wearing clothes that you either don’t like, or might seriously endanger your health. 

I hope this post has helped clear up some misconceptions and provided useful tips to anyone interested in ero lolita as a theme or substyle of lolita fashion. For more inspiration, I highly recommend going through artwork from artists such as Yoh (of Yoh’s Monochrome World), Lulu Hashimoto, and Minori in addition to Sakizo -- although not all of their artwork is lolita related, each of these artists portray the decadent and sumptuous style that ero lolita tries to capture in beautiful and unique ways. If you want more direct inspiration, you could also look up brands such as Marble, Atelier Pierrot, H. Naoto and Triple Fortune, who regularly produce clothing suitable for ero lolita; as well more obvious sources such as Kera Magazine and the Gothic & Lolita Bible.

The world of ero lolita is open before you, so go forth and explore!

~Bubble Tea~

Mocha’s List of Fantastic Meetup Ideas

I love a good tea party, but sometimes sitting around eating overpriced sandwiches and leaf water gets a little stale. Here are some fun (and possibly off-the-wall) activities and tea party themes I’ve brainstormed for your future meetup. 

1.) Spill The Tea Party: a Pride themed tea party 

It’s no secret that much of the lolita community is composed of LGBTQ+ members. Skip a hot and sweaty summer parade for a colorful tea party in the cool indoors. Try making that rainbow layered cake you’ve saved on your Pinterest for months. Make a batch of confetti scones and rainbow sorbet punch. Sprinkle rainbow colored confetti on your table cloth and brew some glittery tea with rainbow sugar crystals on the side. 

For activities, set up a colorful photo booth with Pride flags for members to take photos with and encourage members to wear colorful coords. Prepare colorful yarn or beads and string to make Pride themed friendship bracelets together. 

2.) Victorian Seance

Spiritualism was a big part of the Victorian period and many lolitas love olden times and the macabre. For your next Halloween meetup, get together for some good old fashion spoopy times. Play around with a Oujia board or do an Oracle or Tarot card reading (whether done by a professional fortune teller or with your own deck - by the way, Jane Austen decks exist!). Extra spook points if you do these activities at a Goth picnic in the cemetery. For a very lolita appropriate flare, give tasseomancy a try. 

Wandering Spirit Tarot Deck by Haenuli

3.) Brand Mascot Party 

Got a jumbo usakumya that doesn’t get out much? Time to bring it to a mascot themed meetup! But this meetup isn’t just limited to Usakumyas and Kumakumyas. Encourage guests to bring and/or wear prints of whatever lolita brand animal mascot that ever existed to the party - whether it’s Captain Chris, Judy-Sophie-and-Lillian, or Milk-chan or Lyrical Bunny or Punkuma! This is also a furtastic time to wear animal ears or prints and head to the zoo. 

Source: Liemzie

4.) A Mid-20th Century Affair

Honestly, I’m not sure what to call it, but basically you and your friends get together for a 1950s inspired meetup. Wear vintage inspired coords featuring polkadots and poodles, learn to play Bridge, and try some vintage cocktails (or mocktails) with some questionable Betty Crocker recipes from our grandmother’s time. But if you can’t stomach Jell-o Tuna Salad, you might want to prepare some of Hollywood’s Golden era cake recipes to drown out the taste. 

5.) Bakery Crawl 

If you live in an area with a lot of bakeries and pastry shops, plan to hit as many as you can with your community, and encourage guests to wear prints with dessert themes. 

6.) Host a Murder Mystery Game

Murder Mystery events are pretty popular among the historical reinactment crowd. However, if a three-course dinner with a bunch of strangers sounds unappealing to you and your community, host a murder mystery tea party instead. And instead of the usual themes like the Roaring 20s, you can make your own storyline that’s more lolita friendly - for example, it can be 18th century themed and people can dress in their finest OTT Rococo inspired coords or just a lolita one where evidence can be lolita related (like death by parasol or smothered by jumbo Usakumya- get creative!). Guests can prepare their own characters ahead of time or you can prepare it for them. If making up a story on your own seems daunting, you can purchase pre-made murder mystery kits online. 

7.) College Party

Here’s one of my more far-fetched ideas: a college party meetup minus the bros

Hear me out: imagine getting together with a bunch of lolitas at a house to play beer pong, social drinking games, and stuffing a bunch of petticoated people in a tiny kitchen to gossip over drinks. If anyone ever decides to do this, be sure to set up safety measures like ID-ing people, limiting alcoholic drinks to what’s provided, preparing plenty of snacks (or potluck!), and preparing safe rides home or sleeping space (if you’re extra cautious, you can set up a small security deposit for things like brand or house damage - but hopefully it’ll be more cozy than wild). 

For a more age-inclusive meetup, non-alcoholic drinks can be served instead (think fancy bottled sodas). If you want to make this meet more lolita than normie-centric, use lolita themes in the drinking games, and tea cups instead of solo cups for beer pong. You can also arrange a scavenger hunt and split your guests into groups of two with fake Greek house names like Usakumya Phi and Baby Sigma Psi.

8.) Tabletop Role Playing Meet

And yes, I mean Dungeons and Dragons, but don’t feel like you have to limit your characters to dwarves and elves. Curate a more kawaii version of classic tabletop games like using magical girls instead of the usual paladins and bards. Just be sure to leave plenty of time for you and your guests to prepare their characters before the meetup. If fighting evil by moonlight isn’t your idea of fun, consider purchasing Good Society, a Jane Austen inspired roleplaying game full of intrigue and scandal. For a comfy card game, look into playing The Tea Dragon Society. 

DnD Dice by Forbidden Snacky

9.) Royal Court Theme

Have an OTT Royalty themed meetup where everyone is encouraged to dress up in their most opulent. I’m talking crowns, scepters, capes, sashes, and floofy bell-shaped sleeves! For fun and games, bring out Pretty Pretty Princess or Settlers of Catan, or explore your local tabletop gaming shop for similar fantasy-kingdom inspired games. 

OPULEEEENCE! YOU OWN EVERYTHING!

(Image from Pose)

10.) Celebrate an Unusual Holiday

Did you know that there’s a National Handmade Cookie Day? Sounds like a day for the perfect baking meet! If you love Honey Cake, wear it out for a brunch meet on National Pancake Day. Support your local donut shop while wearing Melty Cream Donuts on National Donut Day, or bust out Diner Doll at the diner on National Vanilla Milkshake Day! If you can’t do a Halloween meet, October 29th is National Cat Day. Encourage everyone to wear a cat print and support your local cat cafe. There’s no shortage of ideas of what you can do! 

That’s all for now for my list of meetup themes and ideas. Let me know if you’ve tried any of these ideas and how it went, or if you have any other great ideas for fun meets!

Thanks for reading!

Mocha

A Lolita's Guide to Reservations on Taobao

 As you search for lolita items on Taobao, Google translate may keep spitting out terms like ‘spot’ or ‘tail’ on some of the listings. You may also find ‘deposit’ listings where the item is extremely cheap and suspicious or a weird listing of something you want that has a 99999 price. What does this all mean?

These terms are actually all part of the reservation system for lolita items on Taobao. Today, we will be looking at how it works and go through a few examples to get you familiar with it. ♡

BACKGROUND

Making lolita items is a high risk activity. A lot of these brands operate on thin margins and cannot afford huge losses if something doesn’t sell. As a result, many items are produced via reservations only and may not get extra stock or a re-release once the reservations are done. So if you want to get the best of what Chinese brands have to offer, it is helpful to know about reservations.

Most of the time, it will be a 2 part reservation that requires the buyer to purchase 2 separate listings - one at the start of the reservation period and another when the items are ready. Other times, the shop will use Taobao’s built in reservation system. For small items, the full payment may be required up front, but there will still be a wait for the production period.

PROCESS

First, we will go through the normal process your shopping service follows so it’s easier to understand what’s happening behind the scenes. Then we will go over the process that you will follow when using a shopping service.

NORMAL PROCESS (the one your shopping service follows)

1. The shop puts out a deposit (定金) listing to start the reservation. This is the first payment and not the final price of the item. It is generally a small fraction of the final price. This payment is non-refundable once the deposit (定金) period ends. It is usually open for about a month before they no longer accept orders. In very rare cases, there will be a cap on the number of orders instead of a time limit.
2. Production will begin. The listing may be updated to indicate this such as with a 99999 price or a title change with in production (制作中) in it. The production period highly varies and it is often a few months, depending on the volume of orders or how many orders are in each batch of reservations. The shop will normally list how long it takes on the listing, but it can be delayed due to a number of different factors, such as having more orders than expected.
3. When the items are ready to be shipped, the shop will send out notifications to everyone who purchased the deposit (定金), like a text message. They may also announce it on their other platforms such as Weibo in case text notifications fail. This is when the final payment (尾款) is ready to be paid. This period also generally lasts about a month but it will depend on the specific shop. This type of listing can only be purchased if the deposit (定金) for it was paid earlier.
4. Once the final payment (尾款) period is over, there may be some items where someone bought the deposit (定金) but failed to make up the rest of the payment to get the item. These items are usually put under a listing titled spot (现货) or spot drop (现货掉落). These items are in stock and there is no wait for it to be produced. It is often more expensive than the deposit (定金) and final payment (尾款) payments combined, and if there were any reservation benefits, it won’t be available when buying the spot (现货) listing.

SHOPPING SERVICE PROCESS (what you have to do, depending on your shopping service)

1. Find the listing for the item that is available for reservation. Make sure you are within the reservation period, as some shops are slow to update the listing. Time zones are very important! It should be the listing with deposit (定金) in the title.
2. Make sure you are familiar with the final price of the item, which is the deposit (定金) + final payment (尾款) amounts combined. It will save you the heartache of finding out if you cannot afford the full price of the item.
3. Submit this link to your shopping service. Most shopping services will require you to make a payment for the full price up front. They will keep track and pay when the second payment is ready.
4. Your shopping service handles everything so you just wait.
5. The item is ready and gets shipped out to your shopping service, who then ships it out to you.

You may also see listings titled intention gold (意向金). If the shop is uncertain about how many people are interested in something, they may first put out a intention gold (意向金) listing instead of going straight to putting an item up for reservation. It is usually something small like 10CNY. This amount can generally be refunded at any time. It is a way to judge how many people are interested in buying the item aside from collecting likes on the listing. If reservations end up happening, this payment will go towards the deposit (定金) of that item. Depending on the store, there may also be other benefits such as free gifts or a better discount on the item.

SHOPPING SERVICE SPECIFICS

Shopping services like 42agent, Spreenow, or Chinese Lolita Updates will make you pay in full and handle the rest themselves. If you are new to this whole process, I recommend going with a shopping service like them. Sometimes shops will have discounts if the total number of reservations reaches certain thresholds, but a lot of shopping services will not pass on this discount to you so you will just pay the full price. The reasoning behind this is because it will be easier for them to keep track since they are doing all the work.

If you use a shopping service like Superbuy, it is a bit more complicated. When you submit the deposit, they will warn you that it is a reservation item and you need to make up the payment later. The deposit will be non-refundable. When the final payment is ready to be made, you will need to submit a second order and note down the order number of the first payment. The agents usually say that they will notify you when you need to make up the payment, but I will still recommend keeping track of it yourself.

TERMS

Now that you’ve learned how this all works, here’s a handy dandy reference table to help you in the future! I’ve also added a few extra terms that may be helpful for your overall understanding.

Chinese	Pinyin	Google Translate English	Definition
预约	yùyuē	reservation	Reservation
意向金	yìxiàng jīn	intention gold	A way for the shop to collect interest in the item before any reservation happens. Very cheap, like 10CNY. If there is not enough interest, the item will not be made and it will be refunded.
定金	dìngjīn	deposit	The first payment for the reservation. Non-refundable.
尾款	wěikuǎn	final payment / final paragraph / tail	The final payment for the reservation. Can only purchase if you made the first payment.
现货	xiànhuò	spot / stock / in stock	In stock items, no need to wait for production period.
制作中	zhìzuò zhōng	making / working / in production	Item is currently in production, cannot take any more reservations. Do not purchase.
全款	quán kuǎn	full payment / full price / full amount	The price of 定金 + 尾款 added together, this is the full price of the item through reservations.

If you need practice, here’s a few examples. Can you get all of them right?

1. The first two characters in the title of the listing say 尾款 so this is the final payment. You can only purchase this item if you had already put in the initial deposit (定金). If you just encountered this listing, then your shopping service would not be able to buy it for you because the deposit period has passed. You are better off waiting to see if there is spot (现货) at a later date.
   
   
   
   
   
2. This one is a lot tougher. The 定金 is hidden in the middle of the title. This is the deposit. The final cost of the item will be this price + the final payment (尾款) amount. Check the listing to figure out the final price.
   
   
   
   
   
3. Back to an easy question! It clearly lists 定金 at the beginning of the title so this is the deposit. Again, the final cost of the item will be this price + the final payment (尾款) amount. Check the listing to figure out the final price.
   
   
   
   
   
4. There is a 现货 at the beginning of the title. This item is in stock! If you buy it, it will be shipped right away without needing to wait for production time.
   
   
   
   
   
   
5. The 99999 price and 制作中 in the title indicates that this item is currently in production, so no more orders can be accepted. You may have to wait and see if there will be spot (现货) available at a later date. There is also a 尾款 at the end, but if you read the full line, 6月尾款, it just means that the final payment will be ready in June.

Depending on the shop, there may be differences in this process and some of the terms, but I hope this gives you a basic understanding of what is happening.

Good luck on your lolita journey~!

Chrysanthemum

Getting into the Lolita Spirit

I had originally compiled this list of lolita lifestyle ideas during the height of the pandemic, as a way to help keep a sense of positivity in a scary world, but as areas around the globe are working towards vaccinating populations, I wondered if this article would still be useful. I’ve come to think that a list of lolita lifestyle ideas can be useful for any given situation - whether you’re a lonelita, find yourself in quarantine, too busy to wear lolita with friends, or just because you need a little pick-me-up. 

1.) Watch historical films/shows featuring lolitas or other romantic aesthetics

 

Of course, much of the lolita fashion community are well aware of Kamikaze Girls (originally, Shimotsuma Monogatari) and Mister Rococo, but there are several other films and tv shows featuring someone wearing the fashion: 

 ❀ Musashino-sen no Shimai - a movie based on the manga about two NEET sisters who wear lolita (Sorry! No English subs to this link).

 ❀ Fatal Frame, an atmospheric horror film about a curse that affects girls who kisses the photo of the person they admire at midnight (CW: suicide)

 ❀ Deka Wanko - a comedy series based on the manga about a lolita detective who solves crimes with the extraordinary power of smell. 

This list is by no means complete, but these are the ones where I could find full length videos for. A couple others that come to mind include: Gothic Lolita Battle Bear, Gothic and Lolita Psycho, and X-Cross.

People sure like to feature lolita in horror movies. If that’s not your cup of tea (pun not intended), I find that a good Western historical fiction film, TV series, and documentaries puts me in a positive mood. Peruse the Period Drama selection on Netflix or other streaming service of choice. For something from the Rococo era, I recommend Belle and The Great. If you want something more grounded in reality, I suggest starting with Lucy Worsley's and Karolina Zebrowska's videos or visit the Absolute History Channel and the English Heritage channel. For a list of over 100 lolita fashion YouTubers, check out LikeaTeacup’s blog. 

Additionally, I highly recommend exploring non-English sources of lolita content, such as Weibo and Bilibili (which often uses the term “Lo” for lolita fashion) and in your social media of choice, searching for: ロリータファッション   

Even if you can’t understand the language, it can be quite heart warming seeing how far the fashion has touched people around the world!

2.) (Re)read old egl posts

For a long time, the Elegant Gothic and Lolita (EGL) Community on livejournal was THE place to be. You could learn about the latest releases, ask for advice (so long as it wasn’t already in the “memories”), peruse through people’s meetup photos, and find inspiration for making one’s life “more lolita”. 

It’s been long abandoned for more modern social media outlets, and many of the old photos are missing, as well as much of the information is considered to be outdated by today’s standards, but I think there can still be much joy to be had by paying the egl community a visit. I also suggest paying a visit to the old daily_lolita community page where people used to submit photos of their outfits of the day. While you’re at it, cruise around the Wayback machine and Archive.org and imgur for lolita fashion content. 

3.) Play doll dress up games

Doll dress up games are a fun time waster, and although Flash is long gone, there are still places floating in the internet where one can customize their own lolita character. Picrew and Love Nikki are particularly popular.  A more recent one that has popped up online is Alice Closet.

Love Nikki

Alice Closet

4.) Spice up your virtual meets

I’ll admit, virtual tea parties and video streaming meets have gotten pretty stale and they’re just not the same as in-person meetups. However, until lolitas worldwide can meet in person again, here are some ideas to have fun with your community safely: 

❀ Powerpoint parties - Have everyone put together their own powerpoint of whatever they like or know a lot about and do a live screen-shared presentation. It can be informative or just for jokes. It’s a great way to get to know people better. 

❀ Bake/Craft-a-long: To do this, set a date and project with ingredients or craft supplies people will need to participate, and live stream yourself making the thing(s) step-by-step. A bake-along in particular would be a great pre-tea party activity. 

❀ Book a virtual escape room session

❀ Go on a virtual museum tour

❀ Game Night: Skip video games and instead play classic social party games like Pictionary, Scattergories, Who Am I?, Never Have I Ever, and trivia (I recommend setting it up with the Kahoot app). Make the subjects lolita related, like using print names, brands, clothing pieces, and lolita models. 

5.) Pursue “lolita lifestyle” hobbies and crafts

A lolita lifestyle may be something individually defined, but passing the time doing old-timey activities can be a good breather, especially for those working/studying from home where everything is virtual. Here’s a fun list of ideas by Vanilla Bear.

If you’re not particularly artsy nor crafty, order some lolita fashion coloring books for a relaxing coloring session (here are a few cute ones I found on Aliexpress and Amazon). 

6.) Make coordinates for future meets

Just because you’re not going to physical meets right now, doesn’t mean you can’t prepare for them. This is a great time to play around with your wardrobe and try something you’ve never done before. You can even get your community involved in this (if you have one), by making a post for sharing coordinates and asking for concrit or suggestions to add what is missing in your wardrobe. You can try wearing these coords, or if you feel too tired (and more comfortable in PJs), make flat lays or collages. This is also a good time to practice posing for future outfit shots. 

Source: F Yeah Lolita

7.) Research and plan for future in-person meets

While this situation can feel dire, it's important to keep your spirits up and try to look forward to a brighter future. Make plans for meets you've always wanted to be a part of, so that when it is safe to have in-person meets again, you and your comm are ready to party. 

8.) Listen to music

I'm usually hipster trash when it comes to music, but occasionally I'll tune to my local classical music station or listen to a stream of Baroque music on YouTube, and I find that it can be a breath of fresh air to top 40 radio tracks and sometimes gets me in a romantic mood, especially while I am embroidering. 

If you're not into Bach, Vivaldi, or Chopin, listen to string covers/arrangements of pop songs. Try different eras of classical music and listen to non-white/non-male composers like Joe Hisaishi, Fanny Mendelssohn, and Saint-Georges. Or pay homage to lolita's roots and listen to visual-kei music and music by artists who wear lolita (Merry Merli, Ali Project, Nana Kitade, Kokusyoku Sumire). 

9.) Read lolita magazines and other publications

Sometimes it’s good to step away from your screens and flip through a good old-fashioned Gothic and Lolita Bible or Kera magazine. Similarly, you can explore other magazines dedicated to lolita and other J-Fashion, including Spoon, Melt, Girlism, Le Panier, Wunderwelt Libre, and Tulle. 

Try digging up lolita comics and art on image hosting sites like Pinterest, Imgur, Instagram, and Deviant Art (not on DA, but I highly suggest this comic that still is on its own site called I R Lolita). Search for news articles and academic writings on the fashion (my favorite articles are by Masafumi Monden and An Nguyen). 

Any seasoned lolita will suggest Kamikaze Girls and So Pretty/Very Rotten, but do also explore Google Shopping or Amazon for all kinds of other books dedicated to lolita fashion (whether they’re accurate or not). Lolita may be a niche subculture fashion, but there’s quite a world of writings out there. 

Source

10.) Read books set in a historical or fantasy setting

Escaping the humdrum of modernity through reading books about a distant past is a great way to refocus your mind and eyes away from glaring bluelight screens. Pick up a story or two on historical fictional romance and adventure, like a Jane Austen novel or classic gothic stories like Carmilla - or Rose of Versailles for a bit of both! If you prefer non-fiction, read up on biographies on royalty or life from centuries ago. I’m a fan of Antonia Fraser’s biography on Marie Antoinette, Georgette Heyer’s Regency World, and books on the real world of Downtown Abbey.  

11.) Curate a lolita lifestyle Pinterest board

Putting together an aesthetic mood board is a great mood booster. Here’s a link to my board for inspiration.  Pinterest boards are also a great place to put together your wardrobe post, so you will be ready for the next Wardrobe Post season.

12.) Embrace "quarantine-kei"

So you’ve spent $200 on your dream dress, but it's been collecting dust in your closet since last year because there aren’t any fancy tea parties to go to (whether your comm isn't meeting in person yet, or because you’re a lonelita). Wear it anyway. You can leave the petticoat in your closet, throw on a pair of house slippers instead of heels, wear a tee shirt instead of a blouse, and put on your favorite bathrobe. No one needs to know or have any business telling you that you have to dress in a full coordinate in the comfort of your own home. Let me tell you, wearing a princess dress while doing light chores is an experience in itself. Just be sure to wear an apron. 

Source: Weibo

13.) Dress up to the Nines (to get essentials)

On the opposite end of the spectrum, make going out to run even the most mundane of errands an opportunity to live life to the fullest and treat the grocery store aisle as your own runway.  

I hope that you’ll find this list helpful! Tell us what suggestions you’ve used or if you have any other ideas on how to add a little lolita in your day-to-day life. 

Thanks for reading.

Mocha

Is the price right? How to spot a good deal and how to bargain

 “Wait, this dress was released a month ago, why is it being sold for an extra 100$?”

“This dress came out in 2012 and it’s third hand! Why is it being sold for 1000$?!”

These are some questions you might find yourself asking when you first look into the lolita fashion secondhand market. How do you know when an item is a good price? What is this "scalping" people have mentioned and how do you avoid buying them? Read on to find out!

So, what is scalping? Scalping is a term from the business world. It’s a short-term trading method used to profit from the volume of trades. In lolita fashion, and many other hobbies, scalpers are people who are not part of the hobby and looking to profit off of the community. They buy limited edition items, and then sell them for a higher price. A brand that's in high demand, such as Angelic Pretty, can sell out of items within seconds, only for the same items to appear on various secondhand selling platforms for double, or even triple, the price. The scalpers hope that a disappointed lolita who missed out on the original sale will buy the overpriced item and they will pocket the difference. 

Is everything selling for higher than the original price scalping?

No! In lolita fashion, we place a lot of emphasis on dream dresses (Which you can read about here), and many lolitas will have dream dresses that are years, or even decades, old. Since there are less of those items on the market, they will be sold for a higher price due to being so high demand and having low market availability.

Another reason for higher pricing is popularity. Well known and loved items, such as Usakumyas and Kumakumyas from Baby the Stars Shine Bright, Cats Tea Party by Angelic Pretty, or Iron Gate by Moi-même-Moitié, are iconic pieces that many lolitas wish to own. These lolitas are willing to pay a higher price to own these items and it is completely their choice to decide to pay more for the chance to own them.

What should you do if you see a scalper? It’s simple: ignore them. “Calling out” a scalper won’t make them change their ways. If the item is scalped but no one buys it, then it will either sit on the selling platform with no buyers, or the scalper will eventually have to lower the price to get rid of it. If you see someone you know buying from a scalper, you can warn the buyer privately, but it is ultimately their choice whether they decide pay a higher price for that item. 

Source: Strom Neverland https://tapas.io/episode/413822

So how do you know that you are paying a fair price for the item you want to buy?

That’s also simple: market research!

Lolita fashion has some amazing resources that you can use to find out how much an item was originally priced and even its going market rate. These are some steps I recommend following before buying an item:

1. Search for the item on lolibrary.org
   Not only will this show you the measurements of the item, but in most cases you will also find the original price. In addition, you can use it to find the Japanese name of the item, which will help in the following step.
   
   
2. Search for the item name This will usually bring up previous listings of the item being sold in various second hand platforms. You can then manually browse secondhand websites for sold listings of the item to see how much it has been sold for in the past.
   
   

   
   

Interested in some more data about Cats Tea Party?

This post has tracked the price fluctuation and also explains why this specific dress is so expensive: https://nadinao.me/blog/cats-tea-party-price-data 

I personally recommend taking special notice of secondhand sales platforms from your general area (Such as Lacemarket for the Western lolita community, and Mercari/Frill for lolitas in Asia) as some items may be more sought after in certain communities due to a difference in aesthetics.

Once you have done these two steps, you should have a general idea of how much the item you want is worth and can start considering how much you are willing to pay for it. Make sure to also include shipping, customs and taxes in your calculations!

If the pricing is just a bit over what you are willing to pay, you can also consider haggling the price a little lower. However, please be mindful and consider the following etiquette when asking for a discount:

1. Be polite!  A “Hello! I am interested in buying this item, would you be willing to sell it for X price?” will get a better response than “Can I have it for X price?
2. Don’t accuse the seller of overpricing their items. You don’t know if they originally bought the item for a higher price or added shipping fees, customs and taxes onto the item price to avoid selling at a loss.
3. Request a reasonable discount.  A reasonable amount to discount will usually be between 5-10% of the item price, or if you live close to the seller you can try requesting free shipping or picking the item up from them.
4. Personal anguish isn't leverage. No one owes you a discount because you've had a hard life, or have been going through a hard time. Spilling your whole life story to the seller will just burden them, instead of garnering sympathy. 
5. If the seller refuses- CONTINUE TO BE POLITE! It's their item, and it’s their choice to sell or not sell the item at any price. Respect that and either buy the item at full price, or wait for it to come up again at a price that suits you better. 

So there you have it! You can use these tips to make a more informed decision when buying lolita. What could you do with the money you save from doing your market research? Why buy more lolita of course!

Heading off to browse the secondhand sites now,

Milk Tea